The holidays are here and children are on the long vacation. The challenge for most parents remains what to engage the children with. Should it be Educational, entertainment, travel opportunities, vocational or skill acquisition? What would make them stand out and better after the long vacation? Any of these could be excellent but in addition to them, we have found out some-things that could help you identify ways of boosting your child's confidence. Something we find lacking in our world today. This will help them create their empowering identity.
Whether an elementary school student or a corporate CEO, how a person finishes that statement defines who they are, their beliefs about themselves and world, and the standards they live by. It is their identity. It is the driving force behind the behaviors exhibited both in public and in private. Psychologists and psychiatrists will tell you that it is nearly impossible for a person to consistently act in a manner that is not congruent with his or her identity.
So, the question is, how do we help our kids cultivate identities that empower them rather than hinder them as they grow during this long vacation that they might be faced with so much that could end up forming them?
Kids are born as blank slates. They don’t have all the self doubt, self pity and other negative belief systems that many adults demonstrate on a regular basis.
If they were born with those traits, most children would never walk, speak or feed themselves. They would give up after a handful of failed attempts. In their minds, kids feel born to succeed. They adapt. They overcome. They persevere.
So, what happens as kids grow up? How do the self doubts and negative beliefs creep in?
There is an old saying, “People will live up to, or down, to your expectations.” This saying only holds so much truth.
The reality is that people will live up to their expectations. The problem is most people — children and adults — never give conscious thought to what they expect from themselves.
That being the case, how do kids know what to expect from themselves? They learn from the people around them — mostly their parents, older siblings and teachers. As a parent or adult role model, it is imperative that you discuss and demonstrate what you expect from your kids and what they should expect from themselves.
This brings us to the number one parenting secret for empowering kids: —Be Great!
Home rituals always form children. Do you have one? What do you always say to the children? In the mornings? At night? When they are going out? When you are going out? When the make a request? These help to form them a lot. If you do not have any, this is the time to cultivate one. While growing up, when I was heading out to school, my mother would say " Remember where you are coming from and be a good girl". This worked magic for me It unconsciously guided my every move. It made it seem like her eyes were following me where ever I was.
It seems like a little thing, and it is, just like an individual brick is a little thing. But, when combined with other tools and materials , like the rest, each brick provides the foundation upon which an empowering belief system is truly built. Mike Padapas, a child expert tells his children..."You are great" when ever they are going out of the house to any event.
It takes time to create habits and thought patterns.
According to different experts, it can range from days to weeks. I’ve found that about 21 days is the norm for creating lasting effects. Multiple times each day your child will be, constantly, reminded that he or she is great. Their verbal and physical response then anchors the same affirmation in their subconscious mind. Over time, the connections between different parts of their brain grow so much stronger that it literally becomes part of their brain chemistry.
This is not about driving your kids relentlessly or being a “tiger mom.” This is about giving your kids the tools and guidance to make positive, healthy decisions for themselves.
It’s not about self-esteem; it’s not about feeling good or about trying and failing; it’s about success!
It’s about kids cultivating enough authentic inner-confidence to try things out, and the perseverance to keep going (especially when things get tough). Kids flourish into the best, truest version of themselves when you believe in them.
Tell your kids “be nothing less than great.” Be outstanding. Be...whatever your power word is, to which their response is, “I am!” You’ll find yourself amazed by the growth over a relatively short period of time. We would be discussing more on these power words in the course of the holiday. So keep a date with the boundless team.
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